Same s*!t, Different
review of "Evil in a Good Way"
by Konstantin Levin
ago, I wrote a review of the thoroughly insipid, hollow, and utterly meaningless
Russell David album "Friends are Friends Forever." I warned
you not to listen. I warned you not to encourage the "Simple Music"
machine in its assault on the aesthetic sensibility of planet Earth. Many
of you heard my call, and have ignored Russell David. While helpful, this
is no longer enough. With the release of David's eighth album "Evil
in a Good Way," my call for action becomes an urgent battle cry.
The citizens of the world must unite! We must stop this mad "music"
maker, drunken with the power of modern technology, bent on destroying
the peace, quiet, and beauty of the world around us.
in a Good Way" is an assault on all things decent. From start to
finish, the entire project is a big piece of s*!t. I beg your pardon for
my crude language, but my use is purposeful, meant to jar you into understanding.
This is an emergency of conscience.
of you committed to the concepts, of life, beauty, mathematics, philosophy,
truth, and the capitalist way of life, there is no more time for silent
protestation. We must take our grievances to the street. Despite his effusive
overstatement, Russell David does not have "feelings" like real
humans. He is not sensitive to those around him, and is not concerned
for those unable to appreciate his strained, elementary, excuse for music.
This has been proven time and time again. When David's friends and neighbors
politely communicate that he is a loser, without any purpose or hope of
bettering himself, he continues on, unmoved. When David''s closest friends
whisper, "You are a selfish, stupid, bastard," he simply stares
ahead, unphased, arrogant, resolute. He continues writing songs, recording
them, and sending free cd's out into the world! Why!?!?
is a strange freak of nature - a man who views himself above the social
order, able to transcend the God given economic laws, free to create and
foist an "art" upon the world that we would all rather not be
subjected to. It's time for this to stop. Enough is enough. There can
be no reasoning with a psyche this lost in delusive psychosis. As the
character of Malcolm (portrayed by Jeff Goldblum) warns the makers of
Jurassic Park in the original feature film, "Jurassic Park,"
directed by Steven Spielberg*: "You're so busy wondering if you could
[make a new album of meaningless songs], you never bothered to ask if
you should [make a new album of meaningless songs]." (Dialog paraphrased,
bracketed text added, property of K. Levin).
we find ourselves in is no less dire or traumatic than that lawyer being
pulled off of his toilet seat by an evil and hungry T-Rex. We - you and
me - the people - can avoid such a disaster. But we must act now!
can I do?
This question is the first step.
the power to change the course of history! Yes, you, working in suburban
bureaucracy, or hunting gazelle in Sub-Saharan Africa; you, operating
a gondola in Venice, or cleaning a loo in London; you, pulling a rickshaw
in Rienjsheng, or catching Alaskan salmon in Alaska. You can save the
world! You can. You are not helpless!
METHODS TO STOP RUSSELL DAVID:
are a police officer or other civil authority:
Arrest Russell David for disturbing the peace. Find him, trump up charges
if need be. Whatever the cost, he must be stopped. If you do find him,
make sure to hit him on the head very hard with a blunt object (try your
night stick, a brick, or a squad car). Make sure he realizes the purpose
of the assault. Say something like, "You're receiving this beating
because you suck at making music. Stop the songs, and I'll stop the pain."leader:
If you are a legislator, member of parliament, or other elected official:
Being a mindless
son-of-a-bit*h may still be legal in your country. If so, outlaw pretense.
This will effectively ban all Russell David music from your country.
If you work for a major utlility:
Simple Music has one Achilles heel: CD recording apparatus and cheap little
4-track recorders need electricity. With some research, it should be "simple"
(no pun intended) to locate the exact location of the Simple Music studio
on the power grid, and stop the evil empire at its source.
are a jet fighter pilot for the military:
A well planned
strategic missile strike could be the answer. Hijack a plane, several
tons of high energy (preferably nuclear) explosive, and use your satellite
telemetry devices to locate and surgically remove Simple Music from the
face of the planet.
are a professional hit man, mercenary, serial killer, sociopath or other
variation of psychotic madperson:
David and kill him in cold blood. This is a ruthless solution, but the
peace of the world stands in the balance. If possible, use the most painful
method imaginable. He deserves it.
are a scientist, or some other smart person:
unique virus that will only kill Russell David, or a unique virus that
make his vocal chords dissolve, or a unique virus that will cause his
guitar strumming had to become useless. Any of these unique viruses would
put an end to our problem.
just a few ideas. There are many more. Examine your life situation, and
be creative! Use
your unique position in the global hierarchy to undermine Russell David
in every way possible. Above all, talk to your friends and neighbors.
Communicate. Start a local "We hate Russell David and all he stands
for" support/action group. Make a difference for now, and the future
of all human civilization. The future is up to you.
* = I hear
the new Jurassic Park (III) is even better than the original! More teeth,
more blood, more fun! Check it out! It's in theatres this summer! You
can't go wrong with a Spielberg production!
Levin lives and works in Praque, Czech Republic. He is a freelance writer,
lover of freedom, and appreciator of all things beautiful.